ULTIMATE DORIS DANGER CONTESTS!
WOW, fans! We’re going to begin not one… not three… not more than three… but TWO WEEKLY “ULTIMATE DORIS DANGER CONTESTS!”
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FIRST! COLORING CONTEST!
Now YOU can color Doris Danger pages! FREE!
It’s unanimous! Everyone agrees that “Doris Danger: The Ultimate Web Comic” would be MUCH ULTIMATER if it were in color! Well, we here at Tabloia DON’T HAVE THE SLIGHTEST INTEREST IN COLORING THIS PROJECT! We’ve got too much to do as it is! We’re already too busy to even make our regular weekly deadlines! There’s NO WAY we could possibly color all those pages! And we don’t even WANT to do it! If we had ONE MOMENT OF SPARE TIME, it’s THE LAST THING WE’D DO! BUT … now’s your chance to help make this ULTIMATE DREAM a REALITY! Here’s how!
1. Pick a Doris Danger page you like from “Doris Danger: The Ultimate Web Comic” ! Right click on it, then click “save image”!
2. Open the image in photoshop or whatever hootenanny “coloring program” you kids are using these days!
3. COLOR IT!
4. Save it, and then send it to me as an attachment! My email is ( email@example.com ) ! Head your letter with “all-colored-up Doris Danger page”! Include your mailing address!
5. We’ll post YOUR COLORS on OUR WEBSITE, as PART OF… “Doris Danger: The Ultimate Web Comic” … for all to see!
Imagine how the professional comics jobs will begin pouring in! Your phone will ring off the hook with publishers and editors dying to work with you! You’ll become an instant comic-book sensation! You’ll be able to quit your day job, buy a house, date a super model, and drive a really flashy car! You’ll say, “Yes, I didn’t used to make comics, but then I colored a page for “Doris Danger: The Ultimate Web Comic” and my career began!
6. As a thank you, we will send you a nice, quickly hand-drawn/hacked out, basically worthless postcard of a giant monster, by our own artistic hack, Chris Wisnia! (That’s why we asked for your mailing address! (see instruction “4.”!)
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CONTEST NUMBER TWO (2)! “MISSING LINK” Contest!
If you have no “coloring” skills, relax! You can STILL enjoy a contest!
Can you find a link that should have been posted in our “next/previous/first” section (located on EVERY PAGE of “Doris Danger: The Ultimate Web Comic”) that WASN’T??!
For example, are there two pages with kooky robots, but the “previous robot ” or “next robot” links don’t link?! This ultimate web comic (Doris Danger!) is gonna give us a heck of headache, trying to keep track of all these kinds of links, especially, the ones we need to go back and put in LATER, AFTER we post something new that’s related to something old!
1. If you can find any links, like that, that aren’t linked, are mis-linked, or need to be linked - wait at least one hour after the page was posted, THEN if the link is still in error, write to me, Rob Oder, Editor-in-Chief (My email is * firstname.lastname@example.org * !) with the heading “Oh, my! Here’s a missing link!” And detail the problem you’ve found!
2. Include your mailing address!
3. If you’re the first one to spot this link, and we agree it’s in error and you’re not just being a wise-acre pain-in-the-la-la-la, we’ll send you, just as with “contest one” above, a thank you sketch! A nice, quickly hand-drawn/hacked out, basically worthless postcard of a giant monster, by our own artistic hack, Chris Wisnia! (That’s why we asked for your mailing address! (see instruction “2.”!)
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Enjoy, fans! And thanks for reading, and thanks for your help making this web comic … THE ULTIMATE!
-Rob Oder, Editor-in-Chief!