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Back to Chapter One!
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August 24, 2007
August 25, 2007
August 26, 2007
August 27, 2007
August 28, 2007
Hope you enjoyed this daily catch-up of the Dick Hammer Dailies! Now that we're back on track, plan to see new strips back on our original schedule...Every week! ...or so! -Rob!
September 5, 2007
September 10, 2007
September 17, 2007
Quick announcement, fans! As you know, we here at "Tabloia Weekly Magazine" bend over backwards, above and beyond any non-fictive magazine in history, to portray our stories in the most realistic fashion possible! You've seen that the prestige of our periodical often wins us the respect of the people whose stories we share! And often we manage to convince these actual protagonists to share their memorabilia, photos, videos, and diaries, or even enact their real-life parts in our presentations! That's why we were so elated when our own Dick Hammer agreed to play himself in the "Dailies" you're now reading!
It is with this intensive attention to detail and reality in mind, that we must now apologize for an unfortunate, unforeseen event! This potential blow may cause confusion to some of you, but bear with us! We are confident we may keep our creditibliy intact, once you hear the full explanation...
From here on out, the part of "Rudyard Rupert Kaplan III" will be played by William Ridgemark!
Naturally, our disappointment at having to recast a part mid-story is obviated by landing such a respected, talented newcomer! You obviouly all recognize William from his recent roles in the "Tabloia Weekly Magazine" classics, "The Masonite Killings" and the critically acclaimed "Stilt Man of McKenzie Road!"
But why recast our original "Mr. Kaplan III" at all, you ask! Well, the answer is...complicated! Of course you've heard the rumors of his alleged drug problem, and how much pressure there has been in the industry not to hire him on for any work! Let us assure you that none of this had anything to do with our decision! Quite frankly, he was miscast, and all involved, including him, had insecurities and misgivings about it!
But now, everyone involved couldn't be more excited! We're all looking forward to great things, and we know you will too! So let's hear a rousing welcome for our new "Rudyard Rupert Kaplan III," beginning with our next installment, "Betray Me Sweetly!" ... NEXT WEEK!
September 19, 2007
September 24, 2007
Fans, Chris just posted his diary entry on the creation of "Dick Hammer: The Dailies!" Don't miss it! Check it out in his "Diary of a Struggling Comics Artist!"
September 28, 2007
October 1, 2007
October 8, 2007
October 15, 2007
October 22, 2007
October 29, 2007
November 5, 2007
November 12, 2007
November 19, 2007
November 26, 2007
December 3, 2007
December 10, 2007
December 17, 2007
December 26, 2007
January 2, 2008
January 7, 2008
January 14, 2008
Well, fans, we’ve finally gotten through all that dull exposition! Now, for the next five chapters, you can expect some slightly livelier exposition…at last!
Here’s a quick reminder (from our sponsors) that our feature is sponsored by Ellis Christie’s “Thugs, Mugs, and Slugs” Radio Mystery Hour! For your listening pleasure, here’s one of their brutal, violent, and disturbing hardboiled crime radio shows! Enjoy this timeless classic, and then tune in to their “Thugs, Mugs, and Slugs” Radio Mystery Hour every Thursday evening! And then tune back here, next week, for Part Two of Dick Hammer:The Dailies, in… “Death, Sweet Death!”
-Rob, Editor-in-Chief
[Sound of rain on concrete. Footsteps approaching][orchestra swells]
[footsteps quicken, then suddenly stop]
[rain beating down]
[sound of brass knuckles cracking a jaw]
[body splashes to ground, upsetting trash can]
[dog barking]
[theme song]
Announcer: Welcome to Andrew Avery’s “Thugs, Mugs, and Slugs” Radio Mystery Hour! Featuring the Dirty, Rotten, No-Good, Back-Stabbing Rats!
[Bustle of bodies. Dull crowd of voices. Alcohol being poured. Glasses chinking.]Gruff voice: Careful, I warned you not to get him mad, Eddie…
Syrupy voice: Look, I’m just saying…
Gruff: Whoa, whoa, Eddie. Stop it right there, I said. I’m telling you, you’re gonna regret it. Lookit, his vein is starting to show.
Syrupy: THIS IS SO… God damn it. This is bullshit.
Gruff: I know, I know, I’m just saying.
[murmur of voices, clinking of bottles]
Syrupy: I mean, he’s the one in the wrong here.
Gruff: I know. We all acknowledge that. But still…
Syrupy: No, you DON’T know. I helped him out. I got him out of a hole, at my own expense, and I’ve been regretting it and suffering for it ever since. He’s had enough time. It’s time for him to make it right.
Gruff: You’re right. You’re right.Syrupy: It’s…bullshit.
Gruff: I know, I know.
[bottles chinking together, murmuring voices]
Syrupy: He’s got to…
Gruff: Look, I’m agreeing with you. We all know ALL OF that, but YOU’VE got to understand that sometimes shit isn’t fair. And even if you’re in the right, and even if you’ve been patient, you don’t want to piss him off, so for GOD’S SAKE, can you just --
Syrupy: Then he’s gotta pull his GODDAMN OAR, GOD DAMN--
[murmured voices quiet a little]
Gruff: EDDIE, KEEP IT DOWN. Christ! Keep it down. You see that vein on the side of his forehead?
Syrupy: Yeah. He’s got to--
Gruff: You see it?
Syrupy: Yeah, I see it.
Gruff: See how you can actually see it pulsing a little.
Syrupy: I see it, I said.
[laughing in background, bottles clanking]
Gruff: That’s BAD. He’s not good at communicating his emotions. He’s quiet, right? But that’s how you can read him. It’s starting to pulse. That means he’s getting seriously pissed off. He’s about had his limit with you, and I’m telling you...
Syrupy: HE’S had HIS limit. Oh FUCK THIS, this is SUCH-Gruff: Eddie, oh God, sit down, you’re gonna--
Syrupy: What’s he gonna do? We’re in a bar. There are people all around. Fuck this, I’m not –
[chair legs scrape, bottle breaks against table edge]
Gruff: Oh God
[table overturns, glasses sliding and breaking against floor]
[startled cries, scuffles of bodies moving in haste out of way]
Syrupy: no
[more scuffles and thumps. A startled breath. Sound of glass bottle neck puncturing skin, fast, repeatedly. THUCK, THUCK, THUCK, THUCK]
Syrupy [voice gargling]: …my face…
[thump of body onto floor]
[THUCK]
[silence]
Gruff [addressing room]: What are all you assholes looking at? Comin’ through.
[chairs scooting. Silence]
Gruff (quietly): Let’s get out of here. Bring the bottle neck. You shouldn’t have done that.
[door squeaks open, slams shut]
[sound of wind]
Gruff: He was right, you know.
Slow talker: I know, but he really pissed me off.
Announcer: Hope you enjoyed this week’s “Thugs, Mugs, and Slugs” Radio Mystery Hour! Featuring the Stinking, Rotten, No-Good, Back-Stabbing Rats! Join us again next Thursday evening!
Fans! On to Chapter Four… "Nice Shot, Drug Addict!" ... if you DARE!
Readers! Need a recap? Back to the Beginning!
Readers! Back to Chapter One!
Readers! Back to Chapter Two!
Readers! Back to Chapter Three… "Lipstick on a Gun Barrel!" ... if you DARE!
If you enjoy DICK HAMMER: THE DAILIES, as much as we do, perhaps you might consider poking around on our fantastic MERCHANDISE PAGE, and supporting the otherwise utterly unthanked and unpaid talent involved in the slavish production of this treasure, solely for your enjoyment!